Are you a windbag at work?
Think of someone who's long-winded (we all know such people). Chances are you also think of him or her as boring and self-absorbed. But is it possible people think you are a long-winded Benny Blowhard or Chatty Cathy? The more questions to which you answer yes, the more concerned you should be.
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Recognize that you'll pay a big price for talking too much at work. You will be held in low esteem and will be less likely to have close friends. Some bigmouths believe it's worth the price -- talking is pleasurable and helps them clarify their thoughts. But you should consciously decide, perhaps on a case-by-case basis, whether it's worth the price.
Now, some remedial advice. Keep saying to yourself, Be concise! As you're talking, ask yourself whether you might be boring your listener. Recognize that you're probably rationalizing that your long stories are interesting. Details and tangents are usually much more fascinating to you than they are to your listener.
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A rule of thumb. If, in any conversation, you're speaking more than 60% of the time, you're talking too much. Fifty percent is better. Thirty to forty percent is usually best.
Remember: If you care about other people, you'll make them part of the conversation. And if you tend to care more about yourself, know that you'll get further if you trade in your jibber-jabber self for someone who truly listens. Think of it this way: Big talkers learn little. Good listeners learn a lot.
Yes, we all know the guy who simply has to dominate the conversation, and who doesn't know how to pick up on nonverbal cues. Here's a killer product idea: a conference table that comes with a built-in buzzer that tells the loudmouth to zip it!
Labels: conversation, habits, listening, work










